We are a carrot and stick culture. We have internalized the idea that rewards and punishments are the way to get others and ourselves to behave as we desire.

But research suggests that offering rewards to produce specific actions or behaviors really does more harm than good.

Once we learn to listen to our bodies, how do we make room for those foods that are less nourishing and don't actually make us feel great physically? How do you eat the foods that you really only want when you are feeling the urge to overeat or binge?

I struggled with this for a very long time. And when I discovered the solution, it blew my mind.

We are a culture of doers. In order to lose weight, we research, plan, buy programs, start exercising, read self-help books, listen to podcasts, and more.

But what if all the doing is wrong? What if the only real way to reach our goals is to learn how to sit?

Many of us see our emotions as a "necessary evil."

We're reluctant to acknowledge them much less feel them and appreciate their amazing benefits.

And yet, we must learn to embrace our feelings if we wish to access true peace and freedom.

Rules are meant to be broken.

And yet, rules are extremely helpful to eliminate decisions and preserve energy and brain power.

So are we damned if we do and damned if we don't?

Not if we lean toward the Middle Way.

You want to eat the donut ... but you want to lose weight.

What do we do when we feel like we are being pulled in opposite directions by these kinds of conflicting desires?

Nobody wants to be "unreasonable". We don't want to think unreasonable thoughts or do "unreasonable" things.

But we do more harm than good when we require that our thoughts, feelings, and even our actions, be reasonable.

Most of the time when we try to create change, we start with our behaviors.

But behavior change is external and surface-level at best.

If you want REAL change that stands the test of time, you need to focus on creating internal change first. Because once you make internal changes, there's no going back to your old ways.

As children, we're taught that we should fill others' buckets; that we should be kind to them to help them feel good.

But as adults, we have a new lesson to learn. And that's the idea that we need to fill our own buckets; that we are ultimately responsible for how empty or full they are. And we can't wait for other people or external circumstances to give us good thoughts and feelings.

We're told that habits are key to create change in our lives.

And yet our pursuit of habits - our focus on the end goal - is part of what keeps us stuck right where we are.

In this episode, I show you how to change your focus and take mindful actions that will truly serve you in your quest for change.

We are taught to diminish ourselves and sacrifice ourselves. We are taught to put ourselves last.

But there's no way around this.

If you want to lose weight, you absolutely, 100%, without a doubt need to stop taking yourself for granted.

Do you put your dreams on hold because of your weight ... or even just because?

If so, you are doing yourself (and your weight) a massive disservice.

Learn why the motivational neurochemical dopamine demands that you follow your dreams and why ignoring that demand keeps you overeating and overweight.

Forget about the calorie burn.

Forget about exercise, even.

Focus instead on the belief that your body wants to move.

Because when you behave as if that's true, the dividends are enormous.

"Your body is a fat-storing machine!"

Most of us believe some version of this. And that is why we struggle.

And it's when we stop thinking thoughts like this, that we also stop making them true in reality.

You know the pattern: You start to make some positive changes, but then the weekend hits or you go on vacation and all your progress seems to slip away.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

This simple tool will help you stay on track while you have fun so you can and leave the regret behind.

Research shows that gratitude improves our physical and psychological health, helps us sleep better, AND improves our self-esteem.

But there's another reason to practice gratitude that will directly impact your ability to lose weight.

Our drive to lose weight and our drive to overeat often come from the very same place, and that is our resistance to our current reality.

In this episode, we'll delve deeper into this phenomenon and discuss how we can begin to release the resistance that's holding us back from what we truly want.

Why might you be resistant to losing weight?

If you are searching your past for what's holding you back, you might be looking in the wrong place.

Oftentimes, our REAL resistance is so much closer than we think - so close in fact that we can't even see it.

Is it possible to listen to your body, eat whatever you want AND lose weight?

Most would say no and believe that achieving food freedom means giving up on weight loss.
In this episode, I set the record straight and explain how we can have both.

This week's episode is a little different.

Instead of my usual talk, I've decided to share a short meditation with you.

I hope you enjoy it.

We think weight loss is just about the physical - calories in, calories out, etc ...

But the reality couldn't be further from the truth.

The real work that you do in order to lose weight for good is much, much deeper.

Our minds are programmed to find and fix problems.

But your body is not a problem to be fixed or a challenge to overcome.

And it's not until you feel this truth deep within your being that you can create real, sustainable change.

This year for my birthday, I didn't have cake or really anything sweet at all.

Am I extremely disciplined or crazy about eating healthy?

No. In fact, I didn't even really do it on purpose.

Let me explain how I got here and how you can too.

We're so used to taking our bodies for granted - even hating them - that we think being friends means begrudging acceptance. We aim to tolerate our bodies (all the while still hoping they will change and become worth liking).

If that's you, it's time for a reality check, because that isn't being a true friend in any sense of the word. And if you want to lose weight in a sustainable way, you need to step up and become a true friend to your body.

Learning to believe in yourself and in your goals is one thing, but how do you learn NOT to believe?

How do you stop believing in your negative thoughts and get past all your doubts?

Truthfully, you don't. At least not right away.

Instead, you come to understand that your doubts are NOT incompatible with your progress.

Raise your hand if you've ever thought, "I know what to do, I just don't know how to make myself do it," or if you've ever felt like you're doing all the things, but you're just not seeing the results.

Belief is the missing, essential ingredient that transforms both of these issues and so much more. Learn why it is a MUST for lasting weight loss.

Belief is foundational to create, not just weight loss, but ANYTHING.

There are three steps to believing in yourself and the change you want to create.

And today I'll teach you how to make those work for you.

Have you ever asked yourself what you are REALLY responsible for in this life?

If you are like most people, you assume that you are responsible for so much more than you really are. And when you take on this mental burden, is it really a surprise that it manifests as extra physical weight?

And yet, most would say that you are responsible for being overweight, but are you really?

The answer might surprise you.

When it comes to weight loss are you making powerful or weak decisions?

Learn how to spot the difference between the two and what it takes to make a powerful decision that will truly move you forward.

Do you believe that you'll never achieve weight loss because of your sweet tooth, or that losing weight will have you feeling forever deprived?

Despite what we've been led to believe about our personalities and our preferences, our wants and desires aren't innate. We can choose what to want. But first, we've got to be aware of what's in our way.

We take our words for granted. We say "sticks and stones hurt your bones but words can never hurt you," but think about how much pain you feel when you call yourself fat.

Our language shapes our reality and when we categorize foods in these ways it's not just unproductive, it's damaging - to our self-image AND to our weight loss efforts.

Learn more about why this is so important and why the seemingly innocent moniker of "joy food" might be the most pernicious of them all.

So many of us are terrified of even the idea of listening to our bodies. We've been taught that we need structure, rules and restriction to lose weight and that our bodies are working against us.

But that couldn't be further from the truth. It's when we finally stop trying to control and micromanage our bodies, and focus on our minds instead, that our bodies can finally do their part and let go of excess weight.

Even when we say that we're doing it for ourselves, a lot of the time we're still trying to please other people; to fit ourselves into some mold of what society deems "worthy". And so "I'm doing it for me" actually means "I'm doing it so I don't have to feel terrified of what others think of me."

But losing weight in spite of yourself is always going to be a losing battle. Learn why coming into integrity with yourself is a necessity to create sustained weight loss.

Do you save all of your joy until the evenings or weekends?

So many of us sacrifice and simply survive for most of the day, waiting until we have "free time" to relax and enjoy ourselves. And we approach dieting the same way.

Just keep your head down and eat what you should during the day, and if you do what you're supposed to, you can reward yourself with something at the end of the day, or maybe give yourself a cheat meal or a cheat day on the weekend. Sacrifice your now for later. That's unfortunately how we're taught to live life, and it's just totally wrong.

Because food restriction is so ingrained for so many of us that we don't even realize we are doing it. Even if you are not presently on a diet, if you have been trying to lose weight for a while you are probably engaging in one or more of these behaviors.

And I know it was so eye-opening for me to realize, even after I had done a lot of thought work and had really cut down on binging and was being a lot more free with the kinds of foods I let myself eat, I was still doing some of these things. And when I truly stopped these behaviors I felt a level of freedom around food that I don't think I ever have before.

We humans are really good at twisting our brain into knots and confusing ourselves so that we don't have to make a decision and thus don't have to take action. And if you ever feel like you don't know what to eat to lose weight, that's a signal that you are overcomplicating things. Because when it comes down to it, weight loss is less about what you eat and more about how you eat.

Let's talk about how to prime your day for weight loss. What is the magical thing you can do in the morning that will help you lose weight? Because there is something ... and no it's not drinking lemon water.

Some believe that sugar is evil and many believe that it's addictive. And I'm sure many of you have called yourselves sugar addicts seriously and flippantly.

I'm right there with you, or I was. There was definitely a time in my life when I felt that sugar was the enemy and that if I could just rid myself of it I would suddenly be free, but I have since learned that is not the right approach for me and I'm betting that it's not the right approach for most of us who overeat and binge.

Today we're talking about what to do after you overeat. And I can't stress enough how important developing a process for this is if you want to stop overeating. This is really the first step. You don't simply, suddenly stop overeating, without first paying attention, making peace with it and learning from it.

So many of us make mistakes with exercise that actually harm our weight loss efforts. If we think about and use exercise the right way it can aid weight loss and help us create better relationships with ourselves and our bodies, but there's a bit of finesse to that, and it's helpful to first know what to avoid.

Do you use food to cope?

If so, the standard advice is not to run away from those feelings. We're told to feel our feelings and allow them into our experience; to feel our urges and just ride them out. But that's easier said than done when we don't have the right mindset and strategy. And that's what I want to share with you today.

Do you think on purpose?

You might say "of course!" But the truth is that, most of the time you probably don't, and especially if you are unhappy with a certain aspect of your life, like your weight.

Learn why this is THE MOST IMPORTANT skill when it comes to weight loss (and to life really) and why using towards vs. away from motivation is key to get achieving what you want.

There are many who believe that we need to break up with the scale completely and stop using it to judge ourselves. And while I agree with the overall sentiment - that we shouldn't judge our worth by our weight, I don't agree with the method.

You don't need to get rid of the scale to get rid of the judgement you have about your weight. Let's talk about how.

Planning what to eat ahead of time isn't a diet or restriction strategy. It's basic self care that enables you to eat what you like, when you like. It's also a great tool to help you create balanced meals that satisfy your body AND your brain. And it also helps you be mindful about those times when you reach for food on autopilot.

Learn more about how I teach my students to plan what to eat.

Just stop eating "junk" food.

That's what common diet wisdom tells us. And yet as soon as we tell ourselves that something is off-limits, we want it even more.

There is a scientific reason for this, and there's an obvious, but often overlooked, solution.

I'm sharing both with you in this episode.

The New Year is upon us!

And even though every day offers a fresh start, there's that palpable feeling in the air that we're stepping over a threshold into something new.

Harness that energy and take the time to tune into what you really want and learn how to bring that into your life right now!

And be sure to listen through until the end. Yes, you'll be making a list, but then I'll share an unexpected twist.

I actually think resolutions and goals are wonderful. But the way so many of us tend to approach New Years Resolutions isn't the best. We tend to expect some kind of immediate transformation to take place on January 1 which isn't realistic. And we tend to demand perfection and thus doom ourselves to failure.

Let's make a decision to ditch that approach. Instead, I'll show you how to harness the positive, forward thinking that makes resolutions so appealing, to help you to lose weight.

Holidays can be the best of times.

And they can also be the worst of times. 

Add the pandemic to the mix and holiday anxiety can lead to overeating that is off the charts.

But you can get ahead of it with my 5 Tips to Handle Holiday Eating.

Take a listen and start managing your mindset before your mind manages you into a corner.

There's a right way and a wrong way to commit.

The wrong way to commit is all about pomp and circumstance and big promises that run empty after the excitement wears off and things get hard. And that's probably the way you've committed to weight loss in the past; with a promise to do better that didn't hold up.

The right way to commit is less show, more substance. It demands consistency, but creates tangible  results.

It's not you. It's not that you lack discipline. It's not your genetics. It's not because you are flawed in any way.

It's also not because you are a sugar or carb addict. It's not the food period.

So let's talk about the REAL reason you overeat.

So many of us put a lot of pressure on ourselves around the holidays to make them perfect - whether it’s hosting the perfect get-together, making the perfect meal, baking the perfect cookies, getting the perfect gifts, decorating, wrapping, doing things like Elf on the Shelf as we get closer to Christmas. Add in some family dynamics, which even at the best of times can add some stress, and then top it off with tons of delicious food, and it can be a recipe for difficult times if you are prone to overeating and especially if you want to be losing weight instead. 

But it doesn’t have to be.

Today I want to talk about why mindfulness is so helpful specifically in our quest to defeat overeating. I also want to share what’s going on in your brain when you are mindful. When you understand the why behind it, and see that there’s nothing mystical about it, I think you’ll be more compelled to do it. 

I’m excited to share with you a key concept that I teach in the Mindful Weight Loss program. I said in the first episode that I created the program because none of the other programs I tried ever worked for me. Even if it was a program that focused more on our relationship with food and our bodies than nutrition and exercise, I always felt like something was missing, and one of those missing elements is what we’re talking about today and that’s the idea that Overeating is the Enemy.

Welcome to Mindful Weight Loss. My name is Emily Erekuff and after struggling as an overeater and a binge eater for most of my life, I’ve finally figured out how to stop and I am so excited to share what I’ve learned with you. Using brain science, psychology, the study of habit formation and change, Mindful Weight Loss is about putting an end to overeating for good. If you want to transform your relationship to food, your weight and most importantly to yourself, you are in the right place.

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